It seems but a moment ago, but it was actually more than 8 years now that I too had to make a conscious decision to NEVER, as in ever, allow myself the luxury of playing the victim again. I've not always been successful with this determination. On some days, I outright fall on my face. However, in most moments that truly matter I am crystal clarity, that my life IS occurring withinasthru me.

The spark, if you will, occurred during a drive with my father in the summer of 1999. I was taking him back to the airport after he had come for a short visit. I had just left Phillip Morris USA. Believe it or not, I was actually the Marlboro Man of Northern California. And, without me being too blunt, life sucked!

I was doing what I thought I had to do to make money. I lived with a myth that said I had to do what I didn't like to do to make money in order to properly support my family. And there's everything 'right' about being responsible to your family. But I had set up the rules to my life such that my life was a reflection of victim. Nothing that I wanted to be, do or have was present in my life and it was all because I held an illusion that I "had" to do what I didn't like to do - had to be who I wasn't - in order to make money to survive and provide for my family. I was working where I didn't want to work. I was smoking. I was doing everything I could to be unhealthy. I was 50 pounds heavier. Every aspect of my life - mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically - was bankrupt or damn near close to it.